42.195 reasons to wimp out of the marathon

22 09 2011

I’m no wimp.

But two days before the biggest distance race event of the year, every athlete has her last-minute doubts. If she claims she does not, then she is flat-out lying to you.

So in the past couple of days I put together a list of the best (worst) excuses I could come up with to justify going AWOL this coming Saturday at 3:30pm in Berlin. You will note that each is valid in its own right, or in combination with any other excuse on the list. And not one of them has to do with training or a lack thereof.

  1. It’s cold.
  2. The third wheel on my left skate is squeaking.
  3. R. is not here.
  4. I’ve had insomnia for the last six months.
  5. My right knee hurts.
  6. I hate my job.
  7. QE3? You’re kidding, right?
  8. I can’t decide which skate suit to wear.
  9. My hotel room is too small and the view is crap.
  10. My bib number is stupid.
  11. Have a useless conference call at 10:30 this morning.
  12. Who moved my cheese?
  13. The plane was late getting into Berlin airport.
  14. Think I have the stomach flu.
  15. The Eddie Bauer Store went out of business.
  16. There are too many people here.
  17. I want a new spandex skate suit.
  18. I want an ice cream.
  19. I feel fat.
  20. Where’s my fan club?
  21. Need someone to blame for me feeling like doggie doo-doo this morning.
  22. I’ve waited a year, surely I can wait another.
  23. There wasn’t enough foam on my Latte Macchiato this morning.
  24. Is that a tiny blister forming on my little toe?
  25. I have writers block.
  26. I didn’t do enough retail therapy in Euroland yet.
  27. What happens if I come in last place?
  28. Will I be able to live with myself?
  29. My breakfast bagel landed cream-cheese-side-down on the floor.
  30. Damn…Need to go buy R.’s birthday present.
  31. My blog only has eleven regular readers.
  32. I didn’t win in the lottery (yet).
  33. Need a nap.
  34. I have to go back to work on Monday.
  35. Tomato sauce on my spaghetti: Bleah.
  36. 7,000 other competitors? Really?
  37. I’m too old for this.
  38. The free beer in the finish area is non-alcoholic. (What kind of a ripoff is THAT?)
  39. The line for the skaters is green, not blue!
  40. Murphy was a smart guy, coming up with that silly law…
  41. There’s no free lunch.
  42. Life isn’t fair.

0.195   Who’s dumb idea was this anyhow?

Deliverance. (The finish line.)

******************

Ladies and gentlemen, this is my 100th post. I thank every single one of my eleven regular readers for their loyalty, as well as all you strays who have dropped in along the way and pushed my click numbers into three figures (a couple of times at least). A year and three months ago I started this blog as an outlet for the creative energy I could not put to legal or constructive use elsewhere. I still don’t have a dedicated theme, but am still having fun. So I will carry on and hope you will continue to accompany me on my journey.

ES

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10 responses

22 09 2011
Jennifer Avventura

You’ve found a new stray today. 🙂 Happy blogging, great post.

22 09 2011
Evelynn Starr

Welcome! Thank you! Stop on by again soon, y’hear? 😉

22 09 2011
swisstiger

I saw all the people in Berlin preparing for the marathon – impressive! This would be another reason to list to your list….you are not from the area!;) And the pope is in town and, and, and….GOOD LUCK and I keep my fingers crossed, that everything will be perfect for and with you on saturday!

22 09 2011
Evelynn Starr

Thanks, Swisstiger, wish you were here! It WILL be PERFECT!!

22 09 2011
Leanne Shirtliffe

Five reasons to do it.
(1) You have a fan club in Canada.
(2) I know first hand that you’re not a wimp.
(3) Eddie Bauer is overrated.
(4) Alcoholic beer is around the corner.
(5) You have a guaranteed 101st post!

Congrats on two counts!

22 09 2011
Evelynn Starr

Ohhhhh Ironic Mom…. You’re the greatest. Thank you.

22 09 2011
Marianne

Can’t wait to hear how it goes! And I’m not sure there is a wrong choice when it comes to spandex skating suits.

23 09 2011
Evelynn Starr

I had the choice between my regular blue/pink get-up or to try out my neon green/black again after a long time. I think I have decided… but…. still have about 24 hours to change my mind. 😉

24 09 2011
Naaahfick

Can I borrow some of those reasons? Thinking of you, albiet at times in the ‘she’s crazy category’. You’ve got 4 fans here in Virginia!

25 09 2011
Evelynn Starr

Thank you Naaahfic & Co!! Borrow away.

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